A South India Bicycle Journey

I believe in spending time with our children. We spend lots of time together as a family, but I cherish the times I have traveled one-on-one with Mike and Anna. I don’t know many other dads who chose to spend a week’s vacation with their teenage daughter in Hawaii, or spent a long weekend with her in Las Vegas. Recently my son and I spent 2 months riding our bikes 1,000 miles around south India.

Our family has a long history of travel adventures. My wife and I spent a year in Nepal trekking around the country and visiting villages in 1972 as part of her Fulbright Fellowship.

During graduate school in Michigan we became involved with the Seva Foundation, a nonprofit (www.seva.org) that is involved in public health and community development work in India, Nepal and elsewhere. My wife has since traveled to India and Nepal every year for more than 30 years. Our children have grown up with an international perspective because of the many visitors who stay with us, and the several trips the kids have made with us to the Indian subcontinent.

When I started planning a solo bike trip around south India, I had no expectation or hope that my son would be interested. Mike had graduated from the University of Oregon and landed a job working for a great company in our hometown, developing web sites that connect consumers and caregivers with county social services. I casually asked Mike if he had any interest in coming on this trip and to my joy he said that he would love to.

We left for India the day after the tsunami hit the coast in December 2005. Our concerns were first for the people who were killed or injured, but we were also concerned if the roads that we planned to travel were still there and if there was food or clean water. On our trip we encountered many refugee encampments where fishing families who traditionally lived on the water edge were seeking shelter. Boats were wrecked, fishing had been suspended, and the world was engaged in massive relief efforts.

A funny thing happed on the road to Madurai. We stopped for a water break and Mike propped his fully loaded bike up by rotating the pedal to the lowest position and resting it on the top of a roadside curb. Bad idea. A gust of wind from a passing truck toppled the bike, and we watched as it tumbled over the embankment to a rocky streambed 15 feet below. The wheel was completely bent. We had visions of the ride coming to an end. We transported the wounded bike to the nearest town and found a small bike shop. In typical Indian form the mechanic sat cross-legged on the floor with the bike rim gripped by his feet.

We considered the following options: 1) fix the bent rim. 2) replace the rim with a local steel rim. 3) box the bike up, ship it home, and continue the ride on a locally purchased bike. Option 2 became operative when a weld broke on the bent rim. This momentary setback was reversed when a new Indian steel rim perfectly accommodated the original spokes from Mike's bike. The mechanic soon had the wheel put together, trued and in good running order. We took a photo, and paid the labor and materials bill of $3.50.

Mike had spent a summer as a hospital volunteer in South India the year before this trip. He had made many friends and acquaintances during that time. On our trip together, he was now the focus of attention, and I was accompanying him. Adults greeted him, and looking at me would say, “and this must be your father”. This was the first time I experienced not being in charge. And I liked it. Soon, Mike was making the hotel arrangements while I waited outside with the bikes. Mike negotiated with shopkeepers for a good price. For the first time I felt like we were partners in our adventure together, not “dad bringing the boy along”. It’s a new and different relationship.

Mike’s college roommate came to India for 5 weeks of the trip. I had some initial concerns about the dynamics of a three-some, particularly with two 22 year-olds and one 57 year old. As it turned out, we all got along great and there were times when I really appreciated that Mike could have some company (not me) when he had a hankering to explore the city after 10 pm. I vividly remember Mike and his friend standing on a street corner endlessly discussing some finer point of philosophy.

Advice to parents traveling with their children:

• Be flexible
• Keep you sense of humor
• Be patient
• Let the kids grow and participate with the logistics as much as possible
• Give each other some time alone